Are my parents lazy? what can i do? PLEASE HELP.?

my garden is a mess. grasses are growing and it just looks like a garden of an abandoned house. my house furnitures are arranged in a way that it looks like a furniture store. if you were to play treasure hunt in my house, the most treasure you can find is the dirt and rubbish in every corner. my mom buys a lot of useless furnitures. i dont know what her effing problem is but she just has to cover every damn space of the house.





i may sound ungrateful. i know some may say 'you should be grateful you even have a house yada yada...' but please, i cannot live in this kind of enviroment. i did try putting in effort to save the look of my house but i can only manage very little on my own. i am very embarassed each time my friends want to come over. i had to come up with a lie to make sure they dont. no even if they just want to pick me up from my house. it's even just too messy to be looked in from outside. what can i do please help?

Are my parents lazy? what can i do? PLEASE HELP.?
I would try to clean the house the best you can. I would tell your parents you are cleaning the house whether they like it or not.


That's what I would do. It won't take a day, but it will be worth it when your friends can come over.


also, tell your parents you have too much furniture. tell them you are making a list of what you dont need, and tell them to look through it, and see if they agree.


you should donate that unused furniture to good will, because sure as hell you dont need it, as i can see.
Reply:I would tell my parents how I feel and that we should work together. If that doesn't work call Dr. Phil
Reply:you can be a friend, a lover and a loved one, but you shouldn't have to suffer. It doesn't do anyone any good. It's a tough lesson to learn, but you can't save someone if they don't won't to be saved. Use your gifts wisely. I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. You can spend your whole life contemplating and wondering about certain situations in your life rather good or bad. But the key to living a stress free life is having patience and realizing you have five senses: vision, hearing, touch, taste, and smell. Be a leader and not a follower. Don't ever worry about what the next person thinks; always be yourself. Hope these words of wisdom help!
Reply:You could be describing my house at one time, apart from the fact that I have a vacuum cleaner which I used on any bit of the floor that was uncovered. A disabled son who was a avid collector of everything lived in a flat that I built for him, he passed over when he was 53 it took me 5 years to clear his place out before I could transform it into living quarters for visitors. I spent years not knowing where to put my feet in my own part of the house My wife was like your Ma. but the poor Darling had a stroke, and left me. Since then I have sold a few things, but have had to give away thousands of dollars worth of things that I would have difficulty selling, but I can now walk freely, but still have a bit more to do. If you have a room of your own try making that as neat and tidy as you can, you can then take your friends there when they visit you, at least it will get you away from all the house confusion, the garden is another matter, sounds like mine used to get when I was working away from home, so you don't have a prayer with that on your own. Be happy that you weren't alone, but try my suggestion for a start, it might help you a little, that is,if you can make it work, best of luck love.
Reply:Well... You made it clear that your parents don't focus on making the house pretty. But you didn't say what they do, so I can't say if they are lazy or not. If they have jobs and stuff, I'm not to guess that it's more a case of 'unorganized' at home. Perhaps your mom buys furniture either thinking it will hide the mess or that having nice things will help motivate her to give the house a makeover. ... Or focusing on the individual pretty objects in her house might help her to ignore the mess (which you make sound pretty overwhelming.)





My house and yard were pretty messy when I was young too. My mom would not allow me to have friends over. If I needed to meet somebody outside of school for some reason - she would take me to her office to wait for them. (which was just like 2 blocks down the street)





As for what you can do ... How much have you tried to rationally talk to your parents about it? I know that many don't think it's a kid's place to make decisions about the house but it sounds like your parents need it.





Are there some nice things you can point out about the house? How's the paint / siding? If they are in good condition, perhaps you could start with something like "our house is so pretty. It would be nice if others could recognize it from the street. If I stay home this weekend to work on the yard / garden, will y'all help me? It has grown up big enough that I really can't handle it on my own."





In the house: "Wow, mom. I never realized how pretty this ___ was before. Can we rearrange the room a bit to bring it out?" or "Hey mom, do you think I could be a good decorator? Can I practice on our livingroom? I promise not to throw out any of your nice furniture - but maybe we could move a few things to the other room. While it's out of the way - we could go ahead and mop/vacuum the floor."





See if you can talk them into helping you make the house nice. If they do - it might be easier to maintain a nice clean place. Once it looks better, you may even be able to suggest your parents get a small storage building or a shed to keep extra furniture in. Then y'all can redecorate and give it a different look every few months. After some time, you might be able to talk your mom into putting some things in a garage sale. If not - you'll grow up and be able to move out in a few years anyhow.





If it's a loosing battle - maybe you can at least count it as a learning experience so that you don't let your own home get out of control when you are grown.