Shaka's Funnies - Rate 1 to 10 ................................. !?

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will continue to


fiddle with a coat hanger until long after hypothermia has set in.


Calling the RAC is not an option. I will win.


______________________________________...


Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries


at the supermarket, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find


exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu". For all I know, these are the


same thing.


______________________________________...


Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will open


the bonnet and stare at the engine as if I know exactly what I'm


looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will eventually say


to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with


all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."


______________________________________...


Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me


soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.


______________________________________...


Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will


insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost


me twice as much once the repairman gets here and has to put it back


together.


______________________________________...


Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my


hand while I watch TV.


If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole programme


looking for it.


______________________________________...


Because I'm a man, there's no need to ask me what I'm thinking


about. The honest answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or


sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.


______________________________________...


Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.


Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. And if


you're feeling amorous afterwards....then I'll certainly at least


remember the name and recommend it to others.


______________________________________...


Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine.


I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.


Either pair of shoes is fine.


With the belt or without it, looks fine.


Your hair is fine.


You look fine.


Can we just go now?


______________________________________...


Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will


share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking,


the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...


.like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to


do.


______________________________________...


Because I am a man, I see flat-pack furniture as a challenge to have


the greatest possible number of left over and unused components at


the end. If the assembled furniture doesn't collapse within the


hour, this is merely seen as a bonus.


______________________________________...


Because I am a man, I don't have to ask for directions. Unknown


to women, the penis contains a magnetic homing device enabling men to


know exactly where they are on the Earth's surface at all times. If


we do get lost, it's because our wives have used too much girly


fabric conditioner on our underwear, thereby blocking out the


magnetic rays.





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Shaka's Funnies - Rate 1 to 10 ................................. !?
this is excellent 10/10, have a star!!!
Reply:great...





though according to this, my last bf wasn't a real man ;-)





8.5
Reply:this one's real funny. i'll give it a 10. and a star
Reply:Lol. Funny stuff. I love the you look fine one. I always said that to this girl I use to date when she asked. I give this a 9.
Reply:Hits home it really does. 9/10 plus a star